I am Jacks total lack of Concentration

Focus, Concentration; Things that so many of us don’t even think about actively doing. If something interests us we hone in on it, our surroundings melt away and our minds take the time to digest the information being received.

I notice my lack of concentration when it rears its head. It’s always a sign of my anxiety flaring up or my medication dosage has recently been changed. It affects my ability to do anything; hold a conversation, read a book, watch a show. These 2 paragraphs have already taken me far too long to write because I phase out half way through a train of thought.

I literally have to fight with my brain to make it focus, to make it work properly when I’m like this. It’s tiring, which makes it even more difficult. All I want to do right now is nap. I can feel myself slipping into a doze-like state, reality becoming fuzzy around the edges. This link perfectly explains the different issues I have because of it.

I’m writing this to try and make myself concentrate on one thing. It’s the only thing I can actively do to help myself. It’s also a reminder for those who don’t ever suffer from this; be patient when interacting with someone with depression. They may be struggling to follow the conversation or engage the way they would like to. It isn’t a slight to you or the conversation; it is purely an unfortunate side effect of the illness.

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*I love a fight club reference!

 

World Mental Health Day

Today is World Mental Health day  and it’s important, now more than ever, that we openly discuss mental health issues and the impact they can have on people’s lives. Roughly 1 in 4 people in the UK will, have or do suffer from a mental illness. Yet, Mental health research receives only 5.5% (£115 million) of total UK health research spending.

Mental illness is such a common problem, particularly for those aged between 18-30. The small funding that is provided for research is a drop in the water compared to the size of the problem. To add to this mental health services in the UK are overstretched, have long waiting times and, in some regions, lack specialist services meaning that even if someone asks for help they can be waiting a long time before they receive it.

These facts and figures can no longer be considered acceptable. Mental health is becoming a topic people can more openly discuss but it also needs recognised as an area that needs more funding and political attention.

We also need to allow people the opportunity to look after themselves; to take a day on the sofa without social interaction, to spoil themselves with a special purchase, to take a moment to address their mental health needs and meet them. In everyday life we are encouraged to look after our bodies, our careers, our relationships; we need to put more focus on looking after our own mental state.

Mental health needs to be taught in schools the same way that physical and sexual health is. If we can inform people of the common symptoms, feelings or problems then perhaps we can also teach people ways of coping through things such as mindfulness, meditation or ask for counselling.

Mental illness cannot continue to rise the way it has in recent years. We need to re-evaluate how we treat it, prevent it and educate ourselves on it. Today is Mental Health Day, let’s start changing things by taking the time today to address our own mental health needs and catering to them.

 

 

Out of Control

Have you ever ‘watched’ yourself saying or doing something and thinking “who is this person, that’s not my opinion!”. If you have then you know what I mean when I say that it is one of the worst experiences you can have. I watch myself spitting out hateful opinions that I know I don’t actually believe just to get a reaction from the person I am talking to and all because I have frustration and anger that I don’t know how to deal with.

This past week I have ‘watched’ myself trying to provoke arguments about sex. Normally I would say I am very liberally in my opinions towards this subject, people can do what they like as long as they aren’t hurting anyone. However, I am aware that I have deeply set insecurities that have formed during my childhood and early 20’s due to my up-bringing and my marriage. These are apparently the opinions that my brain is choosing to express at the moment.

The whole process makes me feel out of control of myself; a feeling that I have difficulty in addressing. I am slowly pushing the people that matter to me away and becoming a person that I hate. Last time I was like that I engaged in behaviour that I would never normally even consider because I hated myself and needed a way to punish myself for being a horrible person.

Acting like this also makes worry that people will hate me too; that friends will leave, my partner will leave and I’ll be left alone with nothing but my anger to comfort me.

I consider myself to be a highly strung person that needs control over all aspects of my life and I manage this need for control by going to the gym, working hard at my job and planning what I can in advance as it gives me comfort and calms my anxiety. To be out of control of myself in the way I have been scares me more than I can describe. I try and grasp back the control but often it is after I have started the argument and I don’t know how to fix the damage I’ve caused.

This is anxiety. This is what it does to me. It takes apart who I am and brings out the worst aspects of my personality which makes me feel unworthy of people so I attack them.

Choosing to come off my medication was the right choice for me because I thought I could manage these thoughts and feelings. I will manage them, I just forgot that bad days/weeks do occur and I can’t let them defeat me. To anyone else who is struggling with the same issues, you are not unworthy of people and you are never alone. We just have to remember this.

The new age of colouring

Mental health has been in the papers, yet again, for all the wrong reasons. The recent German-Wings tradegy which has left over 150 people dead is being blamed on the co-pilots ongoing battle with depression. This coverage is leading to the idea that anyone suffering from this mental illness isn’t fit to work and undermines some recebt progress that has been made towards lifing the stigma associated with depression.

 Thankfully, despite this coverage, there has been a rise in new ways to manage stress, anxiety and depression. The most popular of which is adult colouring books.

‘Secret Garden’, a book by Johanna Basford, has sold more than 1.4m copies and hit the top of Amazon’s bestseller list this month. This is a book consisting of 96 pages of intricate floral and animal designs to be coloured in anyway the ‘artist’ desires. This is one of many of these types of books on the market. The quiet focus this involves invokes a deep relaxation allowing the mind and body to let go of stress and anxiety. Colouring requires artistic choices to be made in regards to colour and design promoting the use of our creative faculties which has been proven to help individuals manage depression.

Children are encouraged to colour as it can aid creativity and learning, why should the same thing not apply to adults? As we get older we forget to play and life becomes a series of worries and planning for the future. By going back to basics we allow our minds to wander free and to get back a sense of fun we experienced as children which in turn can help to manage these everyday stresses and any mental illnesses associated with them. These books are meant for everyone, so grab a pen and a book and get creative.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.theguardian.com/books/gallery/2015/mar/05/colour-therapy-an-anti-stress-colouring-book-gallery

 

Progressive thoughts on Paedophiles

In the past few years the issue of paedophilia has become almost every day news due to Jimmy Saville, the Rotherham case, Rolf Harris and various others celebrities or those in power having been accused of such behaviour. The outrage is always the same but we never stop to consider how to either help or stop these people. I recently watched a Louis Theroux documentary called ‘A place for Paedophiles’ and it raised some interesting concepts around the issue.

The programme focuses around a ‘hospital’ in America that seeks to ‘cure’ those who have been prosecuted for acts of paedophilia. Some of the ‘patients’ acknowledge that what they did was wrong and attend therapy, however it should be noted that the only way to be released from the institution is to pass the therapy course and be being considered ‘cured’ which, at the time of the documentary, only 4 people had managed. Others refuse to admit to their crimes and see themselves as being unlawfully imprisoned for life.

The mindset of the public towards those who have sexual feelings towards children is that they are mentally ill in some way and need to be cured. I think it is not as simple as that. We as a society need to label it as an illness because it’s the only way we can even remotely try to understand it. For some paedophiles there will be a sick pleasure in it but for others it may be as simple as it is their sexual preference likes some members of society identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, omnisexual, asexual and various other sexualities. I understand that this is not a popular viewpoint but it may be a way to help people manage their impulses and for society to understand it better.

A young boy in America tried to seek help after he recognised in himself that he was attracted to young boys and girls. Therapists shunned him at first and he struggled to find a way to stop what he was doing. He now runs a support group for non-offending young people who have these urges. This support group provides a safe place to talk and to turn to in times of need therefore helping to reduce, or stopping all together, the participants in viewing indecent images of children. However, this group have to be careful and protect their identities as they know how the public would react to them. There is little difference in the eyes of the public between those who have these thoughts and those that act on them yet in reality this is a wide divide.

As more research is done into paedophilia the more it becomes apparent that it is not a mental illness or something that develops after being abused; it is something that people are born with. Society needs to be more open to supporting individuals who seek help for their urges instead of making the subject so taboo that it is repressed. This does harm both to the person suffering and any victim of these urges.

This is an uncomfortable subject and an uncomfortable way of looking at it but only by being more open about the issue can we hope to prevent it. Therapy or support groups are needed for individuals dealing with these thoughts in an attempt to prevent child abuse ever occurring. This openness could also mean that those with this sexual preference are prevented from entering careers that puts them in contact with children, therefore eliminating the temptation and controlling the environment that they are exposed to.

Society needs to realise, not everything that we don’t or can’t understand is a mental illness. Progressive thinking and more communication could help everyone live with less fear and more understanding. Hopefully in the future the place for these individuals can be in society provided they are given the correct support and help from the correct institutions.

Ethical reporting: Suicide

The coverage of the suicide of Robin Williams has brought to the forefront the issue of mental health, particularly in men. Various articles are in circulation around the inability most men suffering from depression have in talking about their feelings and getting the help they require. I’ve seen men in my life struggle with this and I am happy that it is being highlighted so that other men suffering from the same problems realise they are not alone, particularly in the way they handle it.

However, the coverage has also brought to light the issue of reporting suicide.  Some news outlets, The Daily Mail in particular, printed articles which went into detail as to how Williams killed himself. To some extent they also attempted to justify his actions through exploring his financial and health problems.

This style of reporting goes against all guidelines and advice on reporting suicide. Some research exists which indicates that going into extensive detail on methods used can incite copycat deaths or at the very least have a severely negative impact on those currently tormented by depression or battling thoughts of suicide.  The mental health charity, MIND, plans to take the issue to the press complaints commission because some news outlets ignored existing guidelines.

In a post-Leveson world you would think that newspapers would stop to consider the moral responsibility of reporting suicide and mental health. Yet some chose to use the old favourite of sensationalist coverage in order to sell. It illustrates how the media struggles to self-regulate, particularly when its profits vs. public responsibility.

I have too many friends and family who have fought with depression and suicidal thoughts to not get annoyed at such reporting. When someone is considering suicide their thoughts need to be distracted, not bombarded with details on how someone else succeeded in their attempt.

I am glad that a positive has come out of this tragedy in the form of increased awareness of mental illness, it is just a shame that unethical reporting continues to cast a shadow. The media needs to recognise this issue, and change for the future.

Withdrawal

 

Unfocused. Dizzy. Disconnected. Short tempered. Unfeeling. The symptoms of withdrawal from prescriptions medications can be just as bad as those from illegal drugs. Your body has become reliant and by taking away this drug it forgets how to cope.

 

Being on prescription drugs for a mental illness is not as taboo as it used to as more and more of the population have anxiety and/or depression to deal with. However, the addictive aspect of the drugs is something rarely spoken of. Withdrawal symptoms can affect your life more than the illness as your body tries to adjust without what it needs. For me, going more than 2/3 days without my prescription is hell but the second I take my medication again I feel better.

 

For someone who doesn’t get addicted to things this reliance on drugs is scary. I know that they help me keep my anxiety under control but there’s also the fear that I will never be able to be without them. Or worse that they actually alter my personality in a massive way so that who I am isn’t actually me without the illness but me that the drugs make.

 

I understand people’s aversion to discussing these issues but since mental illness is more accepted shouldn’t everything that comes with that be open for discussion too? Prescription medication is a large part of coping with these illnesses, let fully explore how they affect us, both physically and mentally.