After hearing so many different opinions on ‘50 Shades of Grey’ I finally bit the bullet and decided to read it. I felt that this was the only way I could form an honest opinion on the book. It is dreadful.
Before I even discuss the content of the book I must address the writing; it is appalling. I’ve read steamier sex scenes in a sex education pamphlet. Instead of being aroused I found myself bored and wanting it to be over. You want real sex scenes in a book? Read the Sookie Stackhouse novels. The sex scenes in 50 shades burns down to the heroine (Anastasia Steele) receiving copious amounts of oral from Christian Grey which proceeds into the missionary position. Wasn’t exactly what I was expecting to say the least.
As for the BDSM, there are fewer instances of it than I expected and most of it is very tame. A few spankings, some jiggle balls and being tied up. For many people this is not that far out of their normal sex life yet the writer tries to make the reader feel that it is all very taboo through Anastasia’s reactions.
The characters make me want to kill someone. Anastasia is a simpering idiot of a woman who has little to no personality. I hate her more than I hate Bella Swan from twilight (which funnily enough is what 50 shades of grey got its inspiration from). Christian Grey isn’t much better. His mood changes make me think he’s perpetually PMT’ing. He’s hot then he’s cold then he’s boring.
The character interactions are the only thing worth taking some time to discuss. A common complaint about this book is that it describes an abusive relationship. Having now read it in full I can say I agree. Christian controls every aspect of Ana’s life from where she goes, who she’s with to what and how much she eats. By making Ana sign a non-disclosure form he legally isolates her, preventing her from discussing their relationship and its problems with any friends or family leaving her completely reliant on Christian. Ana also starts to alter her behaviour so as not to anger Christian and repeatedly describes feeling intimidated and scared of him. Christian justifies his actions through the use of the sub/dom relationship stating that Ana should want to please Christian at all times and if she feels unhappy she should put these feelings aside for him.
A true happy consensual BDSM relationship fulfils a need that both parties have. It is conducted in a safe way that both parties have agreed to in a way that makes both participants happy. Some studies support the idea that BDSM actually makes relationships closer as long as both parties have consented to all actions involved.
This is not a happy, consensual BDSM relationship. This is the perfect description of abuse; the isolation, fear, controlling, stalking, jealousy and anger. Christian is only concerned about his own satisfaction, taking Ana’s virginity as ‘a means to an end’. Ana frequently voices her dislike of being hurt through spanking etc yet Christian proceeds to inflict this on her as it fills a need he has. He manipulates her emotionally in order for him to get what he wants. This is abuse.
For this type of relationship to be accepted and in some cases celebrated by the mainstream is harmful to society. It harms those who have experienced these relationships as well as teaching the next generation that this is acceptable behaviour. A recent study conducted found that 2 in 5 girls between the ages of 13-17 have been coerced into sex acts. This is the highest rate in Europe. Films/books like 50 shades continue to promote the idea that a girl is there to do whatever the man in the relationship wants and it encourages men to take what they want from a girl even if she’s not happy about it. This is what the media should be helping to fight, not promoting.
The book also is giving the BDSM community a bad image. It is not a place where abuse is everywhere, it is a community of people who know what they like and how to go about it in a safe manner. Nothing that is described can be called a BDSM relationship.
A campaign has been launched called #50dollarsnot50shades that encourages people to boycott the film and donate the money they would use to go see it to a woman’s crisis centre or charity. This helps those who have been in these relationships rather than supporting them. I personally think that this is a better way to spend your money than sitting through a dull film about an abusive relationship disguising itself as remarkably tame erotic.
Thoughts of a Millennial 